1:30pm… S t i l l …a w a k e…

Ok I’ve been wondering around the communities and user jounrals for HOURS now. It’s been actually somewhat theraputic I think. I’m not feeling too bad emotionally at the moment which is nice, but I am starting to feel tired. Ugh… So much for pushing it to 8pm. I might try and hold out until 3pm we’ll see. (I’m sure anyone that has seen my posts are REALLY happy I found this “Cut” tag.)

Was nice to read other military wife postings and realize that I’m not REALLY alone as in the only one that’s ever gone through what I’ve gone through. So that is comforting sort of? Misery loves company? hehe Actually that’s not really it, but thought it was funny to say anyway.

Another thing I’ve realized is that even though there have been Navy contributing factors to my frustrations and disappointments, there have been other factors as well, so I can’t continue to come accross as I hate the Navy, because I don’t really. For some reason I’ve pulled away from the support my church can give me and I should never have done that. There are so many kind wonderful woman there that could be a support group for me and also give me opportunities to support and serve others which would be such a blessing. I think I just need my Mommy to come get me on the right track again. hehe “I WANT MY MOMMY!”

Also I realized that I just REALLY love my hubby, he’s my bestest friend and so often when I’m with him it hits me that I honestly think we were destined for each other. He’s not perfect, and neither am I, but together we are pretty darn good. I guess MAIN issue is that Patrick is my stability, support group etc… and I suppose it’s not really healthy to be putting all that on his shoulders. I need to get some “girlfriends” and keep using my counselor once a week as sounding boards for venting rather than my hubby. The problem with the whole Navy life isn’t with the Navy lifestyle, but with me. I just need to figure it all out and fix it. Easy enough? NOT! hehe But will be worth it just to work on it.

Ok well, I guess i’ve done enough rambling for the moment, I’m hungry I think I’ll go scrounge up some food. My sweet hubby is upstairs making lunch for everyone I think. *Guilt*

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