Dear Journal,

Hi again, I was starting to feel the “blues” coming on again so I decided to start taking the Welbutrin that the Dr. prescribed at my last visit. I didn’t want to have to be on pills again. I always just figured before it was because of the “navy” stuff that made me feel so crappy. I think mostly it’s from being lonely. Not having that feeling that there is someone in this world, (other than my wonderful hubby of course) that REALLY has time to or even wants to listen to me rattle on about my day or bitch about this or that. Not even my Mom would listen without judgement. I just want someone who would just love me warts and all. I think there are many people who would say that they would “be there” for me, but I honestly don’t believe that there are many who actually would. I would totally be there for anyone who asked me to, although I’m not in a good place myself to actually probably help anyone, but I would listen and help them if someone needed me.

Ugh… It’s 3:40am and I’m just tired and probably emotional from the meds too. I do have friends and I haven’t ever really tried just calling one up and giving them a chance to be my “person”. I’m just always afraid that they are going to think my “Stuff” is just whining and I shouldn’t feel a certain way or I’m basically just wasting their time so I just don’t call anyone. I don’t even talk with Patrick.

Anyway, good night Journal. I’ve still got you! hahaha (Does this count as talking to myself?)